Revelations About Motherhood

It's a rare, rare moment around here. The sleeping baby will wake any moment, but I've somehow managed to get myself ready, pick up the house and finish this round of dish duty. So, for once, I actually have a few minutes to blog. I need to be posting Decker's 3 and 4 month updates, but I don't think I have that kind of time. So, very quickly, I'll just share some insights on motherhood. You know, since now I'm 4 months in and pretty much an expert! ;)

Over the last few months I've had some revelations about motherhood:

1. I will never, ever again have enough hands. Each morning, as we prepare to leave the house, I try to strategize about how I can get to the car in the least amount of trips. I am a fill-both-arms-with-grocery-bags-until-they-start-breaking girl and always have been. Who wants to make another trip? But now, I find myself taking 2-3 trips to the car every morning with all of our necessities for the day. So much for traveling light. And that's just for 8 hours!

2. My passion for naps will pretty much win out over almost anything else. You haven't seen me around here lately, and that's because sleep is getting harder for the little man. So, when he actually falls asleep and stays asleep, that seems to be the only thing I want to do. There is laundry that needs to be done, dishes to put away, a dog to walk, blogs to write, a budget to balance and groceries to buy; but all of these things blur together and pale in comparison to the glory of a 20 minute nap. This is strange for me because I've never been a napper. I would make fun of Kimberly for napping during the day in college. (She brought it on herself because she changed into PJs for goodness sake! Who does that?) But now, I'm understanding her so much better and eating my words...

3. A morning cup of coffee now feels like a reward that was earned. I'm a snoozer and have been known to push it to the limit each and every morning. Can I snooze just one more time? Surely no one will care if I don't wash my hair today...9 min. later...I don't really need to eat breakfast at home when I can scarf down a granola bar on the way to work...9 min. later...I really need to get up, but if I decide on my outfit before I fall back asleep, I can shave another few minutes off my time...The list goes on an on. But I've got no time for that business these days. I have to get up to my alarm so I can get a shower and get ready before the boy wakes up to eat. After that I have to pump while I feed him some cereal. Then I need to wash the pump parts and get his bottles ready for daycare. Then we both need to get dressed, the dog needs to be let out, and I need to start loading the car. Don't forget that granola bar, or my phone. Where is my phone?! By this time, Decker is getting sleepy again, so I'm usually carrying him around in his carseat so he'll stop fussing and settle in. By the time I make it to work, usually 5 minutes after I'd planned to arrive, that cup of coffee is like my finish line. I take in the sweet peace and calm that comes over me with those first few sips. I never even liked coffee before. I'm not sure I really like it now, but with the right blend of creamer, it's something I actually crave. I don't know if it's the caffeine or just the sense of reward for making it though the early morning, but something about it calls to me.

4. "Me time" now comes with mixed emotions. There are times when all I want to do is get away for an hour. I need a break from diapers and breastfeeding and sleep schedules. When that happens, it is oh.so.sweet, but I inevitably find myself thinking of the little man and missing his closeness. It makes no sense whatsoever because I was feeling smothered only a few minutes ago. My heart just can't make up it's mind. I guess that's love for you.

These are all things I've been told to expect by others, but there's a difference between knowing of it and living it. Life is so much different today than it was before Decker, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

And, yes, in case you are wondering, he's still asleep! I'm not sure what I did to deserve this, but it's going to be a great Sunday!

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