Bringing Home Baby

I was surprised we were able to spring out of the hospital so soon. Just 25 hours after Decker was born, we were being wheeled out to the car. We were ready to leave for the most part, but there were still some things we hadn't quite mastered in the hospital. Like nursing, but we'll get to that in a minute.

The first week home was full of ups and downs. It was so great to finally have Decker here to love on, but motherhood also comes with lots of questions and uncertainty. Fortunately, I had my Mom here to help me navigate the waters. I cannot tell you how grateful I was to have her help. Whether it was cleaning the house, rocking Decker to sleep in the middle of the night, cooking meals for us or offering suggestions/encouragement; she made my life easier in so many ways.

 Mom did her best to get Decker hooked on books early. I would expect nothing less from a woman who, when she's not watching grandkids, spends most of her time at library meetings. 

 Decker did not enjoy sponge baths, so it was nice to have some help with those. 

 It was in the 40s on the day we came home from the hospital, but it warmed up later in the week. So much so that we got to take Decker outside for the first time to soak up some rays. 

He slept through it, but I think he enjoyed being outside. 

We came home on a Saturday. Decker and I spent most of that day resting. Kyle kept busy cleaning the house and doing laundry - anything to keep from sitting around. He has trouble relaxing when he has too many days off work. On Sunday, we had some adorable little visitors. Brailyn and her parents came over in the morning and Annson and his parents came that evening.

 Annson loved baby Decker and so badly wanted to hold him all by himself.

His mom said no, but luckily he was easily distracted by Oliver!

 

After they left, we noticed Decker's lips were chapped. He hadn't had a diaper in almost 12 hours, had been extra sleepy and nursing was still not going well. We decided it would be a good idea to call the lactation specialist. So I tried her, but didn't get in touch with her at 9 p.m. on a Sunday night. Her answering machine left a number for the hospital, so I called it. The nurse I talked to told us to bring Decker in if he hadn't had a diaper by midnight. I told her I'd rather just go ahead and bring him in now, so Mom, Kyle and I loaded him up in the car.

I was trying not to worry too much on the way, but it was hard not to. I hoped we hadn't waited too long. Was my little boy starving, and I hadn't noticed it until now? What were the nurses going to do for us when we got there? All of those questions were circling in my head, but I tried not to let them overwhelm me. I took comfort in the fact that if things were too bad, we could always give him a bottle of formula, and he would suck it down in no time. While I wanted to try breast feeding, I always told myself I wouldn't be married to it if it didn't work out. I had heard too many stories of moms who had beat themselves up for using formula, and that is such nonsense. I understand how they can feel that way since breast feeding is definitely something they push on you, but there are plenty of happy and healthy formula-fed babies, too. At the end of the day, that's all that matters.

When we got to the hospital, Kyle rushed inside with Decker with Mom and I following behind him. The nurses we saw that night were so good. Tori was there, and said Decker looked really good and pretty healthy. Another nurse took about 30 minutes out of her night to give us a nursing consultation. She watched him nurse, gave us lots of tips and taught us a few techniques. My milk had come in, so she confirmed it was a latching problem. She suggested cup feeding overnight since he had a weight check the next day and was down to 5lbs. 13oz.

We left feeling encouraged, but the night ahead was a long one. Cup feeding meant I had to pump for five minutes before each feeding, try to nurse and then feed him with a measuring cup after that. It lengthened our nursing sessions and increased the amount of prep and clean-up that had to take place after. With Kyle going back to work the next day, Mom was the one up helping me. While all of that was a pain, it was good to actually see the amount of milk Decker was getting.

 Oh the joys of cup feeding! On the plus side, I did get to stare at this cute little face the whole time.

 Mom took the night shift, but Kyle also helped out when he could. 

On Monday afternoon, we were hopeful going into Decker's weight check. Kyle met us at the hospital and ended up taking some time off that day to help us out. Unfortunately, when they put Decker on the scale, he still weighed the same as the night before. The lactation specialist came to see us and suggested we try finger feeding with an SNS instead of cup feeding. She said this was definitely a two person job and walked us through the steps. Just hearing about it was exhausting. We took the SNS, but I had my doubts about whether or not it was something we'd be able to do.

We continued cup feeding until Monday evening, but it was becoming pretty clear that it was making Decker lazy. He would try to nurse for less and less time, crying until we gave up and poured the milk in his mouth. He was also getting a lot of air by feeding that way and could get choked up pretty easily. Finally, I looked at Mom in exhaustion, and we reluctantly decided to try finger feeding. They said it was better for someone other than me to do it, so Mom took the lead and I assisted. At that point, the thought of her leaving was almost enough to reduce me to tears. How would I ever be able to do all of this stuff without help?

After about two finger feeding sessions, we decided this was unsustainable. My patience was wearing and there was one thing left to try...a nipple shield. My sister had suggested it just after Decker was born. I asked the lactation specialist about it but she shook her head and said she couldn't recommend that. I said, "Well, if it's either give up on nursing or use a nipple shield, which would be better?" She said, "Of course breast feeding is always better, but I just can't recommend a nipple shield."

The rule follower in me wanted to follow her advice, but I was at the end of my rope. So on Tuesday morning, Mom and I took Decker to Cimarron Medical Services before his mid-morning feeding. He cried the whole way there, but it was oh-so-worth it! Our next feeding was so peaceful. No latching problems at all. I was amazed. And mad. So very mad.

Why on earth would you not recommend this?! I couldn't understand it, so I was quick to tell everyone how wonderfully it worked for us. My siblings, friends, coworkers, etc. Kyle finally told me that not everyone wants to hear about a nipple shield. Maybe he was right, but here I am blogging about it! I apologize. Nursing, diaper changes and sleep schedules consume most of my thoughts these days. I am sure one day I will return to having a life outside of these things, but for now, it is what it is.

So our life got a lot easier after that. He finally had a full belly so he could sleep better at night. Toward the end of that first week, he was sleeping for stretches of 3-4 hours between feedings. Physically, I was feeling really good. I healed much faster than I thought, and I never really experienced the emotional roller coaster I've heard about from other moms. I am so thankful for that. We were fortunate to have lots of friends and family checking in on us and stopping by to meet Decker, so I think that helped.

 His first full belly. Finally!

 Grandpa came to join the party mid-week and loved cuddling the little man.

 It was so great to see my coworkers! They came over one chilly afternoon bearing coffee. It's so fun doing life with these people. 

 Quinn was diagnosed with RSV a few days before Decker was born. That meant Stacy and her crew couldn't come meet Decker until Thursday when she was no longer contagious. They were very eager to finally get their hands on him!

 FaceTiming Dad at work. They told us not to give Decker a pacifier until he was 4 weeks old and nursing was well established. After the nipple shield saga, we decided not all of their advice needed to be followed. So Decker got a paci around 5 or 6 days old.

 Ben, Jerilyn and the kids came over on Saturday and took turns loving on Decker. 

 Amelia wasn't sure what to think about her mommy holding another baby. 

 Conner held him for quite a while. I asked him if he was done and ready to play, but he said no, squeezing him tighter. It was so sweet! 

Kyle's parents came a few times that first week, too. It was so good to have them there. 

On Friday night, Kyle and I decided to get away for a bit. We went out for an ice cream date and stopped by the store for a few things on the way. In all, we were probably only gone for an hour, but it felt nice just to have some time together. With Kyle going back to work and me taking care of the baby, I felt like we hadn't had a real conversation since we left the hospital. It felt strange to be away from Decker, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. It helped that he was in such good hands with his Mamo and Grandpa.

Mom stayed until Sunday morning. Kyle and I were so sad to see her go, but it was time for us to make it on our own as a family of three. Well, four, if you count Oliver!

Oliver hasn't really been sure what to think of Decker. He was VERY excited when we brought him home from the hospital, and he sniffed him all over. After that, though, he hasn't been very interested in him. He has definitely noticed the change in his schedule, though. That first week, he moped around the house. He seemed to be confused as to why there were people home 24-7 and yet he was getting less attention than normal. Poor guy!

And so our new normal begins...