"Pray Me Home"


Two Mondays ago, we were driving to Ponca to pick Oliver up from Kyle's parents when I got a call from Kim. She was packing her bags to head to Hennessey and be with her parents. Her mom's 4 1/2 year battle with cancer was coming to a close and it was so hard to know how to feel.

Diane was blessed with many, many good days during her sickness. Most of the time, if you didn't know what she was going through, you wouldn't have been able to tell she was sick. But for the last few months, her quality of life just wasn't the same. My parents visited her the Saturday before and she had one request of them. She said, "Pray me home." She was at peace and ready for the joys of Heaven. Little did we know that God would answer those prayers in four short days.

There was much to celebrate at Diane's funeral. She lived a full, joyful life, serving others with all of her heart and soul. The church was filled two times over with friends and family who were impacted by her life. I am only one of many. Diane made a mark on my life in thousands of tiny ways growing up, but for the past two weeks, I've been reflecting most on the two monumental ways Diane has forever changed my life.

First, she brought me closer to God. When she was first diagnosed, I was struggling in my walk with God. Life was going good, and, as we so often do, I lost sight of my true need for Him. Praying for Diane through her illness reminded me how powerful God is and how much I need Him in good and bad times. I tried my hardest to convince Him that it was in His best interest to heal Diane and, in doing so, bring glory to Himself. As it turns out, He did just that. Only not in the way I selfishly wanted. Diane's sickness taught me God's goodness is so much deeper than my understanding of it. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

And second, Diane forever changed my life by raising a daughter who is a woman of strong faith and an incredible friend. I went over to Kim's house one day when Diane was visiting. She had a long night with Morgan. After a late-night feeding, it was her turn to rock her to sleep, but once Morgan finally went out, Diane couldn't bring herself to lay her down. So, instead, she stayed up until the early morning hours rocking her and praying for her. She told me she had prayed that one day Morgan would have a friend like me. Diane was always good to tell me how thankful she was for Kim and I's friendship. But in reality, I am the one who should be thanking her.

So much of who Kim is today is because of her mother's influence. She is always the organizer, making an effort to get us together even in busy times. She's always the "mother" in the group, being responsible, carrying extra things in her purse and NEVER finding herself without chap stick. But most recently, I've realized just how strong she is. I remember asking her once if she ever wondered why these things had to happen to her family. She told me, "There's no point in thinking that way. It is what it is and you just have to make the best of it." That she did, and I know her mom was and is incredibly proud of her for how she has stepped up for her dad and brother in these last few months. I have been so lucky to have someone like her in my life for literally as long as I can remember. We've been through so much together, and I am so blessed to count her as a sister.

It's still so hard for me to believe Diane is gone, but I know her spirit lives on in all of us as we remember the impact she made on our lives and try to live in a way that makes that same type of impact on others. What a wonderful example she is to all of us.

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